Why six months? Because five months feels like I'm rushing it. Trust me...you want me in your life in veeeerrrryyyy small doses. Plus, I don't think I live the kind of life that makes anyone feel like they NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THAT GUY RIGHT NOW!!!! For example, here I am RIGHT NOW:
Here I am sampling my lemon scented hand lotion:
Delicious!
Here I am looking eggcellent. GET IT?!?! EGG cellent!!!
(Those are plastic easter eggs on my eyes. Thus the "egg" pun. You're right. Even after explaining it, it's still hilarious.)
And finally, here's me trying to prevent my possessed right hand from putting a "chip clip" on my tongue.
You'll have to wait for the sequel to see who won.
I believe I rest my case.
Me writing sequel to The Big Splash. It called The Quick Fix, and it come out in Spring 2012. ARRRGGGG!!
Me typing! ARRRRGGG!!!
Hey, everybody...so, my editor and agent thought I should make a book trailer...and I thought it might be interesting if I made one where I talk a little bit about my "writing process." Please let me know what you think, and keep in mind that I've never made one of these before...so, be firm...but gentle...
Hi. You're here. If you've been here before, you'll notice it's a little different. If you haven't been here before, well...the differences will be lost on you. This site is a clean slate to you... You have no preconceived notions about what it is, or what it should be... You only know what's in front of you. To both of these groups of people, I can only say "I'm sorry for what you're about to witness."
I mean, I'm not really sorry. I mean, if I was sorry, why would I even be here? I just like to set the bar really, really low, so that people are then left saying "Hey, that wasn't that bad. Let's make Jack the King of Paraguay!"
(I'm not sure that last part will ever happen, but you never know...Maybe one day soon, the people of Paraguay find themselves in a position to name a new king, right?So, they've got a little time on their hands and they're on the internet... they're not really looking for anything in particular, just kind of surfing around... And then BLAM! They happen upon this site, and then BLAM! They say, "That's our guy!" And then there's this one guy who's like, "That guy? The writer?" And then the other Paraguay-ians are like "Yeah. What have you got against writers?" And that one guy is like, "Nothing... It's just, you know, I'm not sure he's qualified to be a king, that's all." and then everyone else is like, "It'll be fine. Really. You worry too much." And the guy is like, "Yeah, the last couple of years have been tough, you know? The kids are more of a handful then we expected..." And everyone else nods sympathetically, and pats the guy on the shoulder, because he's not a bad guy... He's just been under a lot of pressure. And then they make me the King of Paraguay.)
(Obviously, this MAY not happen... but that doesn't mean I shouldn't plan my whole future around that fact that it MAY happen... Right?)
Anyway... I'm here, and I'm going to be posting whenever I can (which could be once a week or seven times a day). So check back... You're bound to find something interesting. (That's not a guarantee...)
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